I am Sorry... Episode #11

#PreClimax

It was Monday morning. I was sitting on the rocking chair by the window and was wandering through my college memories when Dhilip called me from the window. “Hurry up, let’s go to Thiruvanmiyur depot to find out the culprit who owns that car.” I came back to the reality. Yes, it’s no time to feel lost in my sorrows but to catch that bloody killer who killed my wife and make him pay for his sins. So we got inside his car and started our mission.

It took half an hour to reach the depot. “Wait in the car” said Dhilip and started towards the RTO office. He still had ten more steps to the entrance when an officer from the depot appeared before him and said, “Sorry for the delay sir. This is the address you asked for.” Dhilip looked at the address thoughtfully for a while. Suddenly his expression changed into a strange familiarity look as if he knew the person. He hurried back towards the car and we started from there. “Now where are we going?” I asked him. “Tidal park, Wipro” he said. “There works our culprit.” I was wondering who it could be while Dhilip opened a car lock near the driver seat and checked for his gun if that was loaded. Though I was frightened, I realized his care for me to take my problem as his.

The car entered the Tidal Park and we reached the company where Dhilip said we could find the culprit. Dhilip was asking the receptionist about that person while I was watching him from a distance. The receptionist called him through phone and asked us to wait in the waiting hall opposite her. I didn’t have a clue about whom we came to meet and what to do with him when we meet. Of course we aren’t here to enquire about his well being and his life events after killing my girl. But I felt completely lost. What are you supposed to say or ask to the person who killed your wife? Only possible question would be ‘why?’ Completely confused, I was waiting for an unknown person in that large hall; Waiting to get my answers. Dhilip was still talking to the receptionist while I sat on a chair with my head in my hands, trying to sort out all the happenings till now.

I felt someone approaching me, thinking that to be Dhilip I said, “Hey Dhilip, just say what’s goin….” I went speechless looking at the person before me. I was trying to catch my breath while that person gently smiled and sat before me. “So it takes 18 days for you to find me? That’s too long.” He looked amused and sad. Yes, I didn’t see him coming.

“Ashwin” I said under my breath slowly.

“She was our friend” I said in a broken voice after few seconds.

“My friend” he corrected me.

Suppressing my surging anger I said, “Your friend? That’s right. How could you do that to your friend?”

“Because I had to” he replied.

I was looking at him like a mad man. He got up and started to pace in the room while I was still searching words in every language I knew to express myself. He stopped suddenly and turned towards me and said, “You forget everything Ashwath and that’s the problem for everything. You are the one who started it, so don’t look at me like a fairy tale villain. You are the new fashioned villain of this generation.”

I looked at him with incomprehension. He came back, sat before me and looking into my eyes asked furiously, “Hope you don’t remember that ‘Pink chart’?”

Looking at my blank expression he continued, “You comfortably forget everything and that is the cause of every problem you are having now. You should have said something that day when everyone blamed me for your deed. Why? Why didn’t you?”

I was stumbling with my words and muttered, “What?”

“Stop pretending Ashwath. I know it was you who stuck that chart in front of ladies toilet. I saw you. I don’t blame you for that. I know you did that for Aasha. You wanted to show off to Aasha and so you embarrassed Jessica, as Aasha and Jessica hated each other.”

“I tried to save you. I tried to remove that chart after you left for the class but couldn’t as many staffs came there that time. You and your heroism.” He paused. I lowered my head with shame and was filled with guilt for doing such a low deed. “Your heroisms weren’t heroic when I took your place for that deed and was forced out of the hostel. You never stood up for me and that hurts me more.”

He continued, “I waited for you to say that one word. Even after college days I didn’t heard that word from you. Not only me, Aasha too didn’t get that from you. Looks like the word ‘sorry’ never existed in your dictionary. You avoid apologizing even to Aasha, after your fights. Yet she loved you and managed a lot after your marriage with her. She gave you all her love. What is that you gave her in return? Your pride? Ego? I tried to shut up till you apologize, but you didn’t. I didn’t want to break your love even when I was to punish for your crimes. I never told this matter to anyone till now.”

I started to shiver at his words and my conscience was eating my insides. “Why did you kill her then? It should have been me. Why, Ash? Why her?” I managed to ask him. He removed his specs and said in a low voice, “When I saw you two there I remembered…… Jessica” and he started to cry. I was shocked, “What! You and Jessica???” before I could complete my sentence he replied, “Yes, I love her. From the day we met, I was in love with her. I was waiting for that Valentine’s Day, just like you, to propose to my girl. That pink chart was my plan to propose to her. I made Vishok to make her portrait so that I could present it to her when I proposed to her. I felt in my heart that Jessica too had feelings for me before you ruined it all.

You are the one who ruined my life Ashwath. Because of you I was forced to stay away from hostel, lost my love, lost my best friend and also lost my trust on you. I know Jessica would never call me again but you should have. You should have apologized, shouldn’t you? I used to see Aasha at that bus stop everyday and thought of talking to her but decided to confess the truth only after receiving your apology. But that day, I couldn’t control my temper seeing you two together with that happy look on your face. I remembered Jessica all of a sudden that made me lose my temper and before I ealized what I was doing everything just happened. I still love Jessica, as you can see in my car no. plate her date of birth. It was my anger that made me act so selfish. I controlled myself all these years but those seconds….. I just lost myself to my anger and did such a terrible mistake…

Tell me am I the only one to blame? Did I kill her? Whose fault is all this? Don’t you think you are the one who is responsible?”

I dropped to the floor and broke into tears. “Yes, it was my fault. I ruined your life” saying these I started to cry more. Ashwin leaned closer to me and said, “Machi, you still refuse to say sorry.” I slowly looked into his eyes and stood up. Suddenly then I heard the sound of someone loading gun behind my back. “Oh God! No! Dhilip, wait” I said turning back.

“Shut up fool. If he had a heart for you he wouldn’t have killed your wife. I know what to do with this guy who killed your wife.”

Dhilip turned towards Ashwin and said, “Ashwath only broke your love and friendship with his ego but you took his girl’s life. You are the one who ruined his life. He could have apologized any other day and you could have got your love back at any moment in your life. But you cannot bring his wife back alive, can you? Answer me you bas!@3.”

Dhilip was closing in on Ashwin with his gun pointing towards him. Ashwin got up bravely and said, “Go ahead, Dhilip. Shoot me. If it’s not by your hand today, I will be doing the same with my hands tomorrow. I will be happy to die by the hands of my friend’s best friend. I really love this friendship and love circle we all draw around you, Ashwath. Me, Aasha and now (he points Dhilip) him. Good bye, Ashwath.”

I tried to stop these two idiots from doing another insane act as I don’t want another death on my hand. I tried to grab the gun from Dhilip’s hand as he pulled the trigger. I see blood splattered on Dhilip’s shirt as I fell down with the gun in my hand and blood on Ashwin’s shirt too.

I was on the floor and my friends tried to catch me. Only then I realized that it was I who took the bullet and the blood splattered on their shirt was mine. Because of my ego, I lost my best friend, my wife and then rewarded with a bullet by the hands of my own best friend. I saw them houting and crying for me, their faces in agony and felt my lids heavy and closing . I forced myself to say, “I am S….” and was engulfed in darkness.

Even at those last moments of my life, I couldn’t say “I am sorry” to my friend.

To be contd……

Picture abhi bhaki hai.

Last episode coming soon…

Categories: I am Sorry